Family Story
Stephen and Kelly Keyser, West Newton, MA
We met as teenagers growing up in a small eastern Oregon town, The Dalles. Became good friends in High school with the same interests, Drama, Art, Guitar. Were “best friends” and did not date until our early twenties, after we had both gone off to college. We were married in 1990 after moving out to Boston. Spent 3 years in London where our first daughter was born in 1993. Moved back to Boston for good in 1994. Our Second daughter Elizabeth was born in 1996.
Education/Careers
Steve has a BArch degree in Architecture from the University of Oregon and
currently is a Senior Associate at a 60 person architecture firm in downtown
Boston (DiMella Shaffer Associates). Currently designing a Dormitory for
Westfield State College in central MA, the new Bus station and T-stop at
Kenmore Square, and a 4 new buildings on a pier in East Boston.
In his career he has worked on projects in Beirut, China, Paris, Edinburgh,
Stuttgart, Vietnam, and many US cities.
Kelly has an Associates Degree in Hotel/Restaurant Management from Portland
Community College ( Oregon). After working in Hotel Sales for five years, she
became a full time Mom in 1990 then began to do Home Daycare as a way to
provide income while staying at home with our Kids. Currently Kelly runs a
morning playgroup in the home part-time.
When we moved to Newton in 1994 we began looking for a church, “shopping”
around but never finding a satisfying church home. Kelly was raised Catholic
and Steve Charismatic/Pentecostal (preacher’s kid) so we couldn’t find a
suitable middle ground. We hadn’t been going to church anywhere consistently
since long before we were married. We both knew that we needed to raise our
kids with church. (“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is
old, he will not depart from it”. I had memorized this as a young child.
sk)
6 months after we purchased a home in W. Newton (1996) disciples Kip and
Linda Dye bought the house two doors up on our little street. They became
instant friends, we were drawn to them and their friendly outgoing nature.
It turns out Kip is from Eastern Oregon too and for a short time lived in
the same small town where Kelly and I grew up, going to the same grade
school as Kelly for one year! After a short time they invited us to Church,
a house church, and we were a little overwhelmed, but they kept building a
friendship although we didn’t return to Church for some time. Over the next
year we got to know John and Tracy Martin, Barbara and Dennis Jacobson, and
the Valente's as well as others. Barbara Asked Kelly to study the Bible in
the spring of 1998 and John Martin asked Steve shortly after. We were both
baptized 6-8 weeks after, Kelly 2 weeks before Steve.
Why Did We Adopt
Adoption has always been something we have wanted to do. Kelly’s family had
considered adoption when she was growing up but her mother’s dream was never
realized. So it was an accepted way to build family – it was not a foreign
concept.
Our dream had always been to have 2 children biologically and then adopt.
Steve had traveled to China several times with work and had developed a
connection with the Chinese people and their culture. When we began to talk
about adoption seriously we both thought that China would be a great country
to adopt from. Kelly had read a book “The Lost Daughters of China” which was
compassion look at the need for loving families for abandoned Chinese
children, I then read it and we really focused our adoption efforts on
China.
About two months after we decided to seriously pursue adopting, ChenYi was
born ( April 6, 2001). He was found abandoned along a busy street in Nanning
when he was approximately 1 month old. He was taken to a local police
station, and subsequently was placed in a state run orphanage. At about a
year old he was placed in a foster family to await adoption. 10 months later
our prayers are answered and we picked up our son ( February 16, 2003).
Biggest Challenge
For me, Kelly, the biggest challenge has been surrendering the whole process
to God. Once you make the decision, you really have no control over the
process (except to stop!)
The waiting was very difficult. 7 months before we traveled to China, we
heard of this little ‘special needs’ boy but it was three months later that
we received his referral and 4 months after that before we traveled to
China. Trusting God’s timing (2 Pet. 3:8-9) is essential to a peaceful
heart – something I didn’t quite master, but God blessed us anyway!
Joys!
Our joy is simply ChenYi and what he has given and brings to our family. He
seems a perfect fit. That was one of the most amazing aspects of our trip –
each child in our group of families that we traveled with seemed to fit
their family perfectly in terms of personality and prayers answered. You
could see God’s hand in every situation. We feel very cared for, protected
and loved by God during our entire trip to China – Still do! It was a
destiny given to us by God that this boy became our son. (Jer. 29:11)
I remember vividly the first time he fell asleep in my arms. Joy! After an
unhappy first meeting and watching him struggle to accept any comfort; on
the second day I watched him drift to sleep snuggled against my chest, From
that point on emotionally I was Dad and he was son and there wasn’t anything
that would change that in me. To watch him grow in confidence and security,
to see him learn to trust us, depend on us, has been the greatest thrill.
Our Trip
We left for China on Friday, Valentines Day (it seemed very fitting) and
arrived in Guangzhou China at 6:am on Sunday morning - 23 hours later. We
had traveled from LA with the other families from our Hope for Children
adoptive families group – all from Georgia – and Chrissy Alberi our China
rep from Hope for Children. 5 hours later, after sharing Communion together
with the group in a hotel room, we left the others and flew on to Nanning,
which is in Southern China near the Vietnam border. We were due at the
Nanning Social welfare office at 3:30 pm that same (long) day, so after
checking in, having some lunch with Mandy, our guide from Hope for
Children – off we went – extremely exhausted but running high on emotion and
excitement.
We were only one of 2 families at the welfare office; the other being a
father (Eric) from MN whose wife had stayed home with their 4-year-old (also
from China). Eric’s baby girl came in first and then ChenYi came walking in
holding the hand of one of the orphanage workers – looking worried. They
kind of pushed him towards us and he immediately started crying, terrified
and confused. It was a amazing emotional moment – I was crying too and it
was at this point that Mandy gently reminded me that if I had any questions
to ask now was the time to ask them. My mind was like Jell-O – I couldn’t
think and I could find my questions I’d written down – all I could think of
was wow we made it and here he is and he’s so beautiful. Mandy finally was
able to come up with some questions and the Orphanage Director gave us a
written schedule for him. By this time Steve was holding him and he calmed
down somewhat but was still crying, unsure and a little terrified.
He was still crying when we got back to the hotel and the photographers were
waiting to take pictures for his passport and our family adoption photo.
They had a hard time getting one with ChenYi’s eyes open. He kept squeezing
his eyes shut as if to say “I don’t want to be here, I’m not here, I’m not
here”. My heart was breaking for him. Our breakthrough came about 3 hours
later when we had to change his clothes (he’d gotten sick) and I tried to
tickle his tummy and he smiled and when I tickled Steve’s tummy, he laughed.
Yes! Progress.
The next day was our official adoption day (we had been only baby sitting up
to that time) and ChenYi personality was starting to emerge – funny sense of
humor and very active! Mandy, our guide, is disciple in the one of the
underground churches in China. She was wonderful and so helpful – a true
servant - not only in translating and running the paperwork for us, but also
helping us with personal errands, helping explain things to ChenYi in
Cantonese and showing us the scenic sites of Nanning.
After a year in a state run orphanage ChenYi was raised the 2nd year of his
life by foster parents who worked with the Orphanage and on our 4th day with
him, we were able to go the Nanning Social Welfare Institute (orphanage) and
meet with them. The foster parents were an amazing couple - so happy to see
ChenYi one more time and yet very happy that he had been adopted. They were
an older couple with grown children and ChenYi was their 5/6th foster
child – yet you could tell he was very well loved and cared for by them. As
we were leaving, his foster mom gave me a bag of oranges, bananas, candies
and two sweaters that she had knitted and then she started to cry and I
started to cry. We are so grateful to this couple for teaching our son
about love and family – it is a major reason he is doing so well today.
After receiving ChenYi’s passport and our official adoption documents, we
headed back to Guangzhou and we re-united with the rest of our group. It
was wonderful seeing those beautiful little girls and their happy if tired
parents.
We checked into the wonderful White Swan Hotel next to the US Consulate,
which seems to be the ‘clearing house’ for families adopting from China.
The next day there were medical checkups for the babies – not a happy time
but we rounded out the day with a visit to a wholesale fabric market where
we had a suit made for Steve and a silk blouse for Kelly – lots of fun
shopping!
On Tuesday, we had our appointment with the U.S. consulate, the last step in
the official adoption process – this was the big one (or so I thought) – the
one our entire trip had been planned around. About 50 families with
children were gathered in a hot crowded room and were asked to raise our
right hands. “Do you swear that everything recorded on these documents is
true and correct to the best of your knowledge? Yes! Thank you and
congratulations – you’re dismissed!” That was it!
Wednesday, we had one last dinner together in China with the other Hope
families and their new children and we were heading back home to the United
States feeling like it had been a wonderful dream except for this real live
beautiful boy sleeping between on the plane.
What Role did Hope Play?
Hope was huge! First, Hope for Children based in Georgia was our adoption
Agency, putting together the paperwork, education, travel, and emotional
support through the process. Kelly also attended adoption seminars offered
through the permanent families program at Hope NE. In addition, our home
study was completed by a social worker from HopeWorldwide NE. They were in
every part of the process – from start to finish. Our adoption of ChenYi was
the first “Special Needs” adoption through Hope, a learning process for them
and for us, but one that we felt supported all the way. During our travel in
China we were supported by our Hope For Children Chinese guide, Mandy, who
was a wonderful servant, going out of her way and beyond the call of duty to
make our life in China a memorable and pleasant one.
Additional Thoughts
For me, Kelly, this has been one of the most challenging, emotional things I
have ever been through – it has also been the most faith building experience
of my life. God answered every prayer throughout this process and not one
thing that I worried about came to pass. I thank God for his church, for
great friends and their support and prayers. In addition to all the support
that we received through Hope NE and Hope for Children our local
congregation through the Orphan contribution has made this adoption
financially possible. The funds put forward by the disciples made the
difference between us being able to do it or not. Even to those we do not
know personally, every time you prayed for orphans around the world, you
were praying for our son and every time you contributed to the orphan
contribution fund, you brought us one step closer to fulfilling our dream.
I would encourage anyone who has even remotely considered adoption, to
really pray, search their heart and consider what God has done for you and
what you have to offer. Chenyi was one of 4 boys in an orphanage of 250
children, which was one of two orphanages in Nanning, Guangxi Province and
hundreds of orphanages in China. China is just one of many countries where
there are children available for adoption, waiting for a forever family.
I believe God desperately wants to set the lonely in families (ps 68:6) and
looking for responsive hearts. We have been given so much, enabling us to
give back a little to those who need our love. From experience we can say
the blessings completely outweigh any sacrifice made.
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